Honest About Relationships

Since 3 years of my college life was dedicated to rowing there was never any time or interest to be in a relationship with any guy.

Lately though, for the past mmm...year, I have been feeling a little lonely, jealous, and angry over one area of my life.

Relationships.

Especially lately. And here is what I have to say about it.

Over the past couple of months I have been bitter and selfish towards my friends relationships. I have found that once they are in one they spend all their time with their boyfriend and change themselves slightly to what the "other" likes or does. I am basically the only single friend among my friends right now, and have to hear them talk about their relationships non-stop. I was especially annoyed with this during spring break because we had all the time in the world to talk about it. I just could not get away from hearing about what they like to do, what their little quarks were, and how happy they make them. It's as almost it was being rubbed in.

Now I am as about as laid back as a person can get, but there is one thing that annoys me the most lately. Girls planning their schedules around their boyfriends. I don't know if guys do this or not, but I have been noticing that a lot of my friends (most) sketch out on events or they "have to see what the bf is doing first." I understand this slightly but not the extent as what I have been seeing lately. 

I think that the reason it is bothering me to an extreme extent is that I feel like I am loosing my friends to relationships slowly one by one and I am seeing times change before my eyes. I am slowly not being able to relate to them anymore. It's almost interesting in a way because it is like God is telling me "this part of your life is coming to an end and it's getting closer to when you are going to be moving to another part of the country to meet new people and make new friends!" Ugh! how I dread making a new life somewhere. 

I'm lonely. I want to be in a relationship with someone I LIKE, not just someone who happens to like me. I want to know the happiness that my friends are experiencing. I long for the time that I can hug on someone. As time goes on longer and longer the longing becomes more intense and I PRAY TO GOD that I never settle.

Paul talks about how much of a blessing it is to be single. He is so content with it. I hope that God either takes this desire out of my heart or that he will bless me with contentedness with my singleness. Why is there such a pressure to be in a relationship and that we won't be happy with never being in one?

When did relationships become the ultimate ideal happiness?